“Trust Yourself First”

I am a confidence coach for moms.  Confidence involves many things, but one of the most basic ways to build confidence is to trust yourself.  As moms, we show up for our kids and the key people in our lives, but we often fall short when it’s time to show up for ourselves.  How can we trust ourselves if we consistently neglect ourselves?  How can others trust us if we can’t trust ourselves? 

The message we send if we don’t give ourselves the love and attention we deserve is that we are not worth it, or we don’t matter.  After doing a bit of research on the topic, I discovered that to begin to trust ourselves, there are three keys:  know yourself, be kind to yourself and keep your promises.  

When we know ourselves, we do more of what we love and less of what we don’t.  We spend time with people who fill our cups.  We follow people on social media who feel supportive to us.  We notice when we are feeling negatively or drained and figure out why. 

My daughter asked me the other day what my perfect day would look like, and I honestly didn’t know how to answer for a while.  I have been so caught up in daily life lately, I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to just be myself and do what I loved for a day.  We need to know who we are and what lights us up.  

Being kind to ourselves means speaking nicely to ourselves.  If we mess up, we don’t berate ourselves but speak the way we would speak to our kids: “It’s ok, honey, you are constantly improving, and no one is perfect.”  We rest when needed and do more of whatever lights us up.  We spend time figuring out who we want to be and show up as that person.  

We must also keep our promises to ourselves.  If we set a goal or commit to do something, we need to stick to it.  If I say I am going to work out 5 out of 7 days this week, then I make sure I actually do.  If you committed to meet a friend for lunch at a certain time, you would be there.  You wouldn’t flake on a friend, so don’t flake on yourself.  

Protect yourself like you protect your children.  Be the mama bear for yourself too.  You deserve it, and your children will see you fully embodying yourself.  Show up as the person you want them to look up to and admire:  a confident, strong, and trustworthy you!