“How to Not Feel Guilty About Your Homeschooling Abilities”

Mamas, everyone’s talking about our “new normal” since this pandemic began affecting our lives.  I would just like to point out that there is nothing “normal” about any of this!  Normal by definition is usual or typical, and that is hardly what is happening right now.  So much is out of the ordinary, especially having to wear one more hat on top of all the others.  

Homeschooling our kids.  It seems ridiculous when you think about it.  Sure, let’s  also homeschool on top of working our full-time jobs, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of everyone including ourselves, while socially isolating and being super stressed out about a pandemic.  Being teachers is not our normal- unless perhaps we are actually teachers or made a decision a long time ago to homeschool our kids.   We had a routine that was most likely working, and to expect this supposed “new normal” to go easily is just too much.

Let’s be real.  This is hard.  

I have never wanted to be a teacher, and in fact, what I actually have wanted to do is help women as a therapist and now as a coach.  I respect and admire teachers, but I have never wanted to do what they do, which is why I do what I do.

I have decided to not put pressure on myself to be a fantastic school teacher.  In fact, my expectations of my kids and myself are pretty low right now and my favorite saying lately is simply, “It’s ok!”

Here are a few tips that are helping me right now, and I believe they will help you too!

First of all, be kind to yourself.  Now is not the time to be hard on yourself (not that any other time is, either).  Feeling guilty about your homeschooling abilities is normal.  But please, feel the feelings and then move away from them.  This may not your zone of genius and it doesn’t have to be!  Shaming yourself in the midst of a global crisis is not fair!  Truly give yourself a break.  If your kids watch movies for most of the day, that is absolutely fine.  We are in crisis, mama!  

Second, be kind to yourself.  Oh wait, did I already say that?  Well, it needs to be said again.  If your inner voice is telling you that you suck at homeschooling, tell her to be quiet!  Tell her that you are doing the best you can.  Tell her that she is not being helpful.  Shift those negative, unhelpful thoughts right away, because guess what?  They don’t help you or your kids.  It is essential to find time for self-care now more than ever before, because the stress is higher than ever.  If you neglect yourself, chances are much higher that you will find yourself yelling or blowing up at your kids or your partner.  

Third, be kind to the kids.  This is hard on them too!  Keep your expectations realistic. Most schools have given parents guidelines on what school should entail, and if your kids do a little bit of that daily, that is awesome!  Make sure you acknowledge their progress, not necessarily the end result.  If they show effort, compliment them on that.  They have not had to learn in this way before, and even a small amount of focus in this new context may be huge for your child.  

We will get through this, so let’s be kind to ourselves and our families.